The people which sat in darkness saw great light; and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death light is sprung up. Matthew4:16
The sky is bright blue outside this coffee house in the Pacific Northwest. My beautiful granddaughter, Addie, is visiting us for the weekend. My bills are paid. My church is well. My family is healthy. My dog loves me. And yet my heart is very heavy.
Last week I tried to help someone search their soul to find out the source of their mis-alignment with God. A few days ago that person drank themselves into a stupor. Another person finally admitted to me this week that they were an alcoholic and asked if I knew of recovery program that wasn’t based on religion. Another friend of 15 years confessed that they had been unfaithful to their marriage vows and a twenty-seven year marriage is teetering on a precipice of suicide plunge.
Our house was burglarized. Nothing of high value was stolen, but the sense of desperate energy and contempt for the private property was palpable in our home. We flea bombed the place the next day.
I wrote a controversial blog article about assault weapons and some in the Christian community sent me communications that all but questioned my salvation. Some of those bruise are still visible on my soul.
There is so much darkness in this world that it sometimes tries to dim the light. And, if I am not careful I can look so deeply into the abyss and feel darkness come across my heart like a cloud-shadow across a valley floor.
As a Christ follower it is a tight wire act to walk in this world and be present with others in their dark place and not have some of that play across your own heart.
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
And the dark shadow of my own heart is always with me. I can’t escape it. I will battle this personal dimness until I pass from this life into the next and see Him face-to-face. My ego throbs like thumb that has been slammed in a car door.
I relate to King David when he says, “…my sin is ever before me.”
So, back to this heaviness in my heart on this beautiful day, what do I do with it? Do I medicate it with some chocolate? A beer? Distract it with some activity? No.
I pray it back to God. He is more concerned with the darkness of this world than I am and better equipped to deal with it by far. I carry it to him and leave it there.
Maybe you should go with me.